discouraging growth:
reject the talkative sprout,
and watch him wither.
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©2005-2009 *jahg
Author's Comments
In a discussion with *seldomseenthinker in which we were talking about how aubergines are magnetic, I wondered suddenly (and ungrammatically) how a gardener might cope with a talking sprout.
This miniature is the result. Comments
 That poor plant...a heartless gardener indeed, to not show the little sprout some love!
I wonder what the sprout would have to say? Think it'd be profound? Or gossipy? Or weather-orientated? -- I'm so goth, I have a fishnet umbrella. Still will put pink wig in front of wang and take photo for sex. Well, he's most likely to have quite a bit to say regarding meteorological matters, but also I think some handy observations regarding soil.
 A gossipy sprout. :tut:  What would a sprout say? Perhaps something about the quality of soil? No doubt conversations about the weather would be considered more than small talk.
-- The world's about to end, don't forget to wear your stackhat. Aye, I would assume a sprout would know quite a lot about soil.
But sitting around in the yard all day...wouldn't you think he'd be observant of the neighbors! :tut: Gossipy, I'd say. -- I'm so goth, I have a fishnet umbrella. Still will put pink wig in front of wang and take photo for sex. Oh, yes. It would probably be able to hold up its end of a discussion on the state of soil stabilising elements such as the worm population, or on the wonderful shapes it has seen in clouds.
Perhaps he'd even be capable of giving people tips on breaking up - for some reason I always put break-ups and vegetable-patches in the same category in my mind.  I'm convinced, yes. He'll keep an eye open for humanity, always with a view to becoming the dominant species of course. Sprouts - like lawn gnomes - are plotting to take over the world.
Aye...sprouts are the observers, the watch-dogs, the stationary units of the alliance.
The lawn gnomes are the ones who move about, spreading mischief and devising plans... (they delight in making things like pencils explode, so I've been told) Our domination is soon.  -- I'm so goth, I have a fishnet umbrella. Still will put pink wig in front of wang and take photo for sex. Exploding pencils?! - jeepers, it's worse than I thought.
[hides all wooden stationery, and tapes the cat-flap shut] *giggles at the word "jeepers" because he forgot it existed*
YOU HAVE A CAT?! -- I'm so goth, I have a fishnet umbrella. Still will put pink wig in front of wang and take photo for sex. If you giggled at jeepers, I wonder how Jumping Jerusalem! might have gone down.
And no, I don't have a cat. Nor a cat-flap in all truth. It was the letterbox I was thinking of. Imagine trying to get a cat through a letterbox.  Besides which, I'm allergic to cats. |
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January 15, 2005
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